Friday, 5 December 2014

The jump from 1 to 2

I think Mark and I always knew that at some point we'd like to try for a second child, it was just making that leap.

Was it the right time? What was the right age gap between children? Should we just stick with it being the three of us?  I'm a planner and a bit of a control freak which means I always torture myself with a million questions before making any decision, so something like this wasn't going to be any different.

Its funny though, as soon as Lucas turned 3 so many people took an interest in whether or not we were going to have any more children.  I suppose 3 years is a common age gap and so when Lucas reached this age and there was no sign of baby no.2 people started to wonder.  But honestly, we just couldn't believe how quickly Lucas had reached being 3 and were we ready for another just yet?

A sticking point for us was that we were trying to move house but were having no success.  I ideally wanted to be moved before we started trying but the longer this took the less this seemed like a good plan.  As luck would have it the week we found out we were pregnant with Charlotte was the week we finally had an offer accepted on a house.  I'm a great believer in things happening for a reason and that what's for you won't go past you.

Looking back, I don't think we had any expectations about how going from 1 to 2 children would affect our family dynamic, we just went with it.

Obviously friends who already had more than one child told us it was how hard work but so was Lucas at times...

When our little bunny, Charlotte made her appearance on a sunny day in June this year we were instantly in love with her and so excited (and a bit nervous) for Lucas to meet his new baby sister.

He had been our baby for 4 years and had our undivided attention and love, so how would this all work?  It was like being a first time parent again where you are just figuring everything out.

Thankfully Lucas was as excited as us by her arrival and immediately wanted to shower her with kisses and cuddles.  What a relief!  As he held her for the first time it was one of the best moments of my life.  My heart just wanted to burst with happiness and pride.  My little Lucas didn't look quite so little any more and with a lump in my throat I knew a new chapter of our lives had very much started.

So, what has the jump from 1 to 2 been like day to day...

Of course I'm going to say its great and I do feel very lucky when I look at our family which feels complete now, but wow is it hardwork and some days (most days) you feel like you need to split yourself into a million pieces just to get everything done, make sure everyone's happy and keep hold of your sanity.

One of the hardest things I've found has been trying to share yourself equally between both children.  Lets just say I think this is impossible, at least to begin with when a newborn needs so much of your attention and is reliant on you for everything.  This is where the guilt comes in, or at least it did for me.  I remember feeling that some days I would say "Just let me (feed/change) Charlotte first" or "Give me two minutes to do this and I'll be with you" to everything Lucas asked.  In reality this probably wasn't the case and it was just 'mummy guilt' creeping in.  As we settled into our new lives a bit more I discovered a whole new meaning to the term 'multi-tasking', which helped with this.  I would find myself sitting on the playroom floor breastfeeding Charlotte while doing a jigsaw with Lucas!  I'm sure other mummy's can relate to this.  Now  a few months on Lucas has got used to Charlotte being part of the family and understands that I can't always do what he wants straight away like I used to and I genuinely think this has done him the world of good.

Another change going from 1 to 2 is that when little Miss Charlotte came along life couldn't stop as it had when Lucas arrived.  I couldn't stay in my jammies all day if we'd had a tough night with not much sleep because Lucas still had nursery or Gym Tots to get to.  This also meant that things like Charlotte's feeds and sleeps couldn't be quite as regimented as they were with Lucas.  Some days I swear Charlotte looks at me as if to say "not my car seat again Mummy" and bless her, its always just when she's nodding off that we have to be somewhere and so into the car seat she goes.

But the jump from 1 to 2 has also made me relax a bit more as well I think (Mark might disagree) but whereas with Lucas I would stress out if we slightly deviated from his routine, I have come to accept that with two, most days you just have to go with the flow and getting from the start to the end of the day with everyone fed and watered and in the right place at the right time (and if I'm lucky a few cups of lukewarm tea for me thrown in) deserves a pat on the back. 

Having two children is also so rewarding in its own special way, like when they start interacting with each other.  Now that Charlotte is sitting up, making noises and is so lively its amazing to see how they are with each other.  They have a look they give each other as if they're in on a big secret - I'm sure this is only the start of things to come and I kind of like it.

Lucas is by far Charlotte's favourite source of entertainment and beats any toy at the minute.  He doesn't even have to do anything and he has Charlotte giggling and snorting away,which he loves.  And he idolises her and just wants to help in anyway he can.  Whether its fetching a new bib or making her a bed out of a muslin (which is usually covered in sick - its the thought that counts).  The bond they have already is so strong and I can't wait to see this develop.  I'm not kidding myself though, I know it won;t always be like this between them and with every mischievous look from Charlotte I know there's going to be trouble ahead, especially once she's on the move - Lucas watch out! But for the time being I'll just enjoy how much they love each other.



  1. Such a lovely post, and beautiful pictures xx

  2. They looks so adorable! Lucas is just the best big bro! #sharewithme

  3. Really lovely post, love the picture with Lucas holding his new little sister! I think that's a nice age gap as he'll be at school and you'll have some mummy and Charlotte time just like you did with Lucas. #sharewithme

  4. What a lovely post and I love the photos too! So cute. It's definitely a rewarding challenge as I always call it having two so close. Mine are 22 months apart so it's great watching them grow up together and be so close. I am so glad we had two. Lucas looks like the best big brother too! Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. Have a great weekend. #sharewithme